Beauty Is Definitely In The Eye Of The Beholder

It is June 1992. I am 35 years old and dating lots of women but I can’t seem to find a true connection. I am at the point where I am receptive to blind dates not only from family members and close friends but any contacts I happen to meet. I receive a name from a contact I barely know and contact this woman for a coffee date. As I wait for her at the coffeeshop I notice several attractive women walking by and I am feeling optimistic about this date. Finally a woman approaches me and asks if I am Neil and we grab our table for our date. 

My first honest reaction is that this woman could possibly be the most hideous woman I have ever met. She has a heavy European accent, fiery red hair that is unkempt, pale skin with acne and a misshapen body. She is poorly dressed and has a distinct smell either BO or bad breath, I can’t really tell.  As we exchange pleasantries, I ask myself how long will this date last and how can the contact I know set me up with her. Shortly after though I realize how superficial I am being focusing only on the person’s looks. I start to become real engaged and our exchange is both interesting and fun. I realize what a truly nice person I have spent some time with.  Upon going home and over the next few days I realize as much as I enjoyed our time together, I did not have any attraction to this person so I didn’t reach out to her again. 

Fast forward one month. Another contact has given me another name and I reach out to this woman for a blind date.  I suggest the same coffee shop that I had my previous date a month ago. As I am awaiting this woman to arrive, I now have no expectations for this date. Suddenly I am approached by this tall slender woman immaculately dressed with a warm smile asking if I am Neil. As we sit down at our table and exchange pleasantries I am stunned by her beauty where I am not paying much attention to the conversation. As I come to my senses I begin to realize that this woman is totally not into me. There is no eye contact, no questions being asked and her one-word answers are monotone.  Is she being superficial or is she simply not attracted to me?

I have a flashback to one month ago and realize how now I am the one on the other side being prejudged and being superficial. It’s not a great feeling.