The Soup Guy

It is late October 2003, a cold blustery Friday night.  I am bone tired from a long week at work and all that is in my mind is grab some take-out comfort food from a local diner and crash at home.  I am 45 years old, single, never married, no kids, some would say a confirmed bachelor.  Life is pretty good.  I have a good job, a nice house and the freedom to work out and do the things I like to do.  I have had several long-term relationships but never committed to marriage.  Currently some would say I am a player, bedding several different women in the last year.  As I am waiting for my Montreal smoked meat sandwich and fries I notice an elderly man sitting alone in a booth hunched over eating a bowl of soup.  He is poorly dressed and focused on the comfort the soup is providing him on this chilly night.  A quick thought and a smile comes to my face as I say to myself that him and I are a lot alike in this moment.  As I arrive home and savour the smoked meat sandwich and fries I recall growing up in Montreal and enjoying similar meals.  My thoughts suddenly turn to the elderly man alone at the diner.  Why was he alone at the diner on a Friday night?  Is he a widower?  Is he divorced?  Retired? Kids?  I am haunted by these questions and suddenly I grow dark thinking will that be me in 25 years.  What kind of life I am living not being vulnerable, not committing to anyone.  Am I afraid, will I be alone the rest of my life?  I don’t feel sorry for the elderly man as I realize he is more courageous than me, eating by himself in a restaurant as I run home.  I project that he had a partner, has kids and lead a meaningful life.  Days go by, I am back at work and doing my thing with sports and women but I can’t shed “The Soup Guy” from my mind.  Finally I make a commitment to myself that I will be more vulnerable, more courageous and live a meaningful life where I will find a life partner.  Fast forward one year and I am dating my eventual life partner, the mother of my two daughters and I am happy.  In moments of gratitude I refer back quite often to “The Soup Guy” who I never formally met nor know his name but changed the path of my life for the better.